After working with both Tapestry (3.x, 4.x and some alpha versions of T5 and as a committer) and Wicket (1.2x and 1.3 betas), below is the differences that I found:
Genius vs developer community
In Tapestry, it is Howard who writes most of the code and makes the final decision. There are a few committers but they are either working on T4 which is going to be superseded by T5 or just fixing bugs or writing documentation. I believe this is because Howard is such a genius in programming that few committer is up to a level to technically challenge him. In addition, as he wrote most of the code, naturally he gets the final say. But most importantly, I think it is because star programmers normally aren't good project managers. When I was a committer in Tapestry, I always wanted Howard to take more on a role of articulating and sharing his vision of T5, inviting active code committers and reviewing their code instead of writing his own (like Linus does with Linux). It seemed that I didn't succeed. Maybe he believes it takes less time to write code than relying on others to implement his vision, after all not many people are smart enough to understand his vision, not to mention to write high qualify code as he.
Performance vs ease of use
A major design goal of Tapestry is high performance. In fact, Howard reserves T5 and Java for situations when high performance is required, while dynamic languages should be used for the rest. This design goal leads to the decision that 1) page objects should be pooled and are stateless as the state is maintained separately. 2) a component can generate multiple element in the output and therefore the component tree is vastly different from the element tree generated.
Expressive power vs conceptual familiarity
Just like other world class programmers, Howard favors the ultimate power of expression. That is, he hates any kind of duplication or any boileterplate code. Therefore, one can find a lot of domain specific languages in Tapestry and a lot of automatic magic running to free the programmer from any chore.
Code quality vs functionality
I've never seen any code that is as good quality as the Tapestry code. The Wicket code just won't compare! One can easily find duplicate code, untestable code due to the extensive use of concrete classes instead of interface, classes having specific logic to handle some specific arguments if they along to a certain classes (fragile) and etc.
Technology driven vs user driven
Howard strives to create a framework that is technically excellent so to attract users. However, users can seldom persuade Howard on what is good for them. The Wicket team seems to listen to the users on what they want.
Technical advances vs version compatibility
I felt Howard, as a technical genius, has an unstoppable urge and unlimited energy to improve the Tapstry code. Therefore, whenever he sees a technical advance that can improve the code quality, he can't wait to adopt it (T3=>T4 using IoC; T4=>T5 using annotations replacing for XML and convention over configuration), hoping to deliver an excellent shiny new framework for users to enjoy, while leaving the old incompatible version behind.